I’m still sifting through Nick Clegg’s conference speech for any signs of actual policy other than the chant of ‘We’ve got Vince Cable-o – You’ve got fuck-all-io!’ (West Ham fans will get it!) but while we wait for the Lib Dem Kremlinologists to read the runes and decipher the chicken entrails I figure its worth flagging up the most pathetic piece of attempted spin I’ve seen in quite some time, which is brought to you today by the letters I, D, the number 10, the letter T and Iain Dale…

I’m beginning to feel sorry for Nick Clegg. In his conference speech, he admitted that he’d never heard of Lehman Brothers or Bear Stearns. He said…

There’s this big, intangible thing called the global credit crunch. Banks and funds with names you’d never heard of – Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns.

Can it be true that the leader of the third largest political party in the country and, so he claims, an aspiring Prime Minister, had never heard of these corporate giants?

Okay, so the trollfest that passes for Iain’s comments facility is hardly the first place you’d think of looking for intelligent political commentary but having successfully grasped the difference between ‘I’ and ‘You’ sometime between the age of 1 and 2 I think I can safely say that what Clegg’s suggesting here is that its the majority of the general public who were, until recently, rather ignorant of the existence of Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac et al and not that he’d never heard of them.

Obviously its been quite a while since Iain studied German, Linguistics, and Teaching English as a Foreign Language at the University of East Anglia but having achieved a 2:1 you’d think he might just be able to recall the difference between first person singular and second person plural.

Meanwhile, rumour control suggests that Iain’s now working on a supplementary chapter to this year’s Total Politics Guide to sucking up to the Tory blogosphere – and boy isn’t Shane Greer, to use the words of the great Spike Milligan, a grovelling little shite – profiling some of his more notable regular blogroaches, which will be published in time for Christmas under the title ‘Gullible’s Travels’.

(And before any whinging kicks off here, every blog need a bit of snark once in a while)

Finally, it seems that the world and his/her wife/husband/civil partner* (delete or add to according to taste) is full of advice for Gordon on the best way to ride out his present difficulties and I’m no different to anyone else so here’s my little bit of advice for Gordon…

…as set to music by Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong.

And if any of Labour’s conference organisers are looking in, well you know how there’s always some sort of music playing in the background when a party leader is introduced and takes the platform…

…go on – I dare you!!!

About the author
'Unity' is a regular contributor to Liberal Conspiracy. He also blogs at Ministry of Truth.
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