I’m a socialist: get me out of here


by Laurie Penny    
11:59 pm - November 29th 2008

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Last night, an extraordinary thing happened. I watched open-mouthed as the United States of America elected its first non-white president. The country erupted with longing for democratic change, the world partied, and a million teenage fangirls squealed at the sexual tension between Rob Lowe and Brandley Whitford.

Oh, stoppit. Yes, I’m talking about The West Wing. Last night, I finally finished the series, and I’m bereft like a late-night sugar junkie, suddenly coming to with sticky crumbs of the last of the biscuits smeared on my chin and down my pyjamas, subsumed by a creeping sense of shame; you know it’s not real food, you feel a bit sick, but you want some more.

Throughout this turpitudinous year, my housemates and I have purged our sorrows and self-doubt with liberal applications of all seven series of The West Wing, shock tea, narcotics and a metric buggerload of digestives. And now it’s all over, three weeks after we stayed up to spoiler ourselves by watching the climax of season seven played out in real life on November the 4th, the biggest, best reality TV show politics ever paid for. That series is over, now, too, but never mind – we still have reams of fanvids, mashups and screaming teen slashfiction (Joebama, guys!) to see us through to Epilogue: Inauguration Day in January.

Is it me, or have we all been watching a bit too much TV?

In a speech written for the Fabians (well worth reading in full), David ‘I was mates with Obama in college’ Lammy certainly seems to think so -

What happens in the United States affects us all and there is a great deal that we can learn from it. But we need to make sure we don’t let politics become a mere spectator sport. We can’t adopt US politics as a new political soap opera to replace The West Wing. I know that the election campaign seemed to have hired the same scriptwriters, so that the plot of the final season happening for real. But this will remain fantasy politics for us if we engage – from the outside – in American politics as an alternative to taking responsibility for bringing about change for ourselves here.

I’m sick and tired of fantasy politics. I’m sick and tired of watching overseas politicians slug it out to exciting super-wrestling soundtracks on TV from a cold, crowded house in North London where our seventh flatmate, rattus africanus*, has recently returned to plaguify us all. I’m sick and tired of waiting for change and being delivered empty soundbites and endless, endless bloody fanvids.

I’ve spent this year doing interminable work experience with national newspapers, in thinktanks and in parliamentary offices, looking for anyone who might actually want to give an Arts graduate paid work, hoiking my unemployed, overeducated little arse out of bed to be every editor and politico’s least favourite helpmonkey. And all this time I’ve spent scuttling around various corridors of power I’ve been secretly looking for someone, anyone, who wants real change, someone even trying to angle the system to publish innovative articles, to get real groundbreaking work done, to interest themselves in something more socially affective than the latest dead celebrity. But to no avail. Because, and let’s not pull any punches here, they’ve all spent the past eight years watching the sodding West Wing.

Seriously. The Fabian Society? West Wing fans. The Indie? The Graun? Parliamentary researchers? West Wing fans. When I say kill your damn tv I’m not talking to some fantasy socio-political underclass, I’m talking to everyone from the cabinet down: your next fix of social justice isn’t bloody coming from Fox Networks.

We’ve got to accept that the fact that another country, a bigger, more powerful, more culturally significant country than this tiny clutch of islands just elected what looks like a genuinely liberal adminitration does not mean that we can now all clock off and head to the pub (and come to think of it, 36 of them are closing per week). It still smells unnervingly like we might elect a Tory government in 2010, and for no better reason than it might make us feel a bit less responsible for the state of our own lives for a while. If we truly want change, it won’t come from the telly, it won’t come from the tories, and it won’t come from another administration in the New Labour idiom, either – so we’d better decide what flavour of change we want right bloody now.

Bring up the theme tune; let the credits roll. Time to get up off the sofa, put the kettle on, and start planning a better world. Because it won’t happen any other way. This revolution will be brought to you live.

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About the author
Laurie Penny is a regular contributor to Liberal Conspiracy. She is a journalist, blogger and feminist activist. She is Features Assistant at the Morning Star, and blogs at Penny Red and for Red Pepper magazine.
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Reader comments


As a socialist you have nothing in common with any elected American Politician . My impression is that O boring is , if possible somewhat more full of shit than most American public figures but don`t get all excited on that score just yet. What you have clearly grasped is the soap opera that ha been the coverage of the US process. Nil discussion of a protectionist and isolationist America and beaucoup wearisome sneers at Sarah Palin`s religious beliefs. Add the clammy bourgeois fetishising of a black man to the tune of Bob the Builder’s ‘Yes we Can ‘ and that’s all she wrote
The whole cure for insomnia chimes in well with my growing feeling that the media is that is full of blinking children . People all over London and the South discovered last week that the kitchens they have paid for will not be delivered . The people who install them will not be paid and the in general the misery caused by MFI`s failure is endless. No-one cares because its not a soap opera . Meanwhile the Insurance industry in this country is slithering into catastrophe as security licensed under EU pass porting regulations hit’s a soft market . The top EL Insurer in the country is currently under investigation( In Ireland ) has lost its rating and looks to be hanging from Sky hooks . Anyone noticed ..nope The previously persecuted but suddenly important small companies most if us work for are not all in debt . Most could not get a bank to hand out any free cash in the first place , what help for them as order books crash…anyone care …nope . That would be real life , dull aint it .

Anyway I don`t like young people , I hate perky people , I cannot stand socialists and the ambition to be a writer is close to the ambition to be a child molester in my egomaniacal parasite top twenty

Have a nice day skippy .

2. James Schneider

Newmania,

Check out

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernie_Sanders

3. Laurie Penny

Hang on….hang on….am I trip-trapping over your little bridge?

You make some valid points Newmania, but I’m not going to engage if you’re going to start personally insulting me right off the bat. You hate young people? Act your bloody age then.

Zip up your fly and get a life.

I understand your point of view completely but reading what you’ve written here I wonder quite how you think people should tackle the apathy that our system of government generates in people working in and around it? I get the impression that’s what you’re addressing but telling people to change doesn’t amount to much in the face of journalists who often focus on trivia or contribute to the election of Boris Johnson because they personally don’t like Ken Livingstone very much. In fact reporters are better at reporting things than questioning their motives. It doesn’t address the issue of political dynasty or the fact that most MPs vote in line with the whip to pass legislation that should be rejected for the sake of the legal system and the rights of the average citizen.

At the moment the US hasn’t elected a genuinely liberal administration, it’s simply elected an administration more liberal than the last. Currently we have no idea what Obama is actually going to do or manage to get done but we know that he’s appointing people like Raum Emmanuel to his administration and that is keeping in line with past democratic party policies and ideas. I also think that false idealism doesn’t help people shake their apathy in the long term. Let’s not forget that Obama isn’t changing the system of government, in fact his campaign used it very well to get him elected and apathy often emerges in its ultimate form from the system.

So look the question I’ve got for you is what change do you want? If you want to rally people to a cause, to change something what is it? There are reams of social justice movements out there and they’re all focusing on individual things, often as a direct reaction to the perceived apathy of people in politics, maybe you need to work for them rather than think tanks or newspapers but you need to get that everyone around Westminster is locked into the way that the government does business, it’s inescapable, it can be a bit sick if you’re a young woman who didn’t go to a fee paying school and doesn’t want to network, it’s a bit drunk and most of them are in it because they feel comfortable there.

Whoa there, Obama is unlikely to herald a liberal administration… let’s just get that out of the way for a start. Part of the problem is the way voters organise.

Both Reagan and Bush were supported and pushed by organised religious voters – so their presidents fulfilled that agenda for them. Obama was not pushed by any specific constituency as much as he was by the anti-Bush constituency.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy and loved the campaign etc… but liberals in the US are nowhere as organised yet as they could be compared to the Republicans. Until then, no one will listen to them.

I’ve been secretly looking for someone, anyone, who wants real change, someone even trying to angle the system to publish innovative articles, to get real groundbreaking work done

Someone said: ‘You are the change you seek’… (heh). No seriously, it may be an Obama soundbite but its true and there’s real sense in that.

So look the question I’ve got for you is what change do you want? If you want to rally people to a cause, to change something what is it? There are reams of social justice movements out there and they’re all focusing on individual things

And Nina is spot on above. I get bored with lefties who talk in broad terms without specific goals or agendas or get involved in something. Anyone can be an idealist… but liberal-lefties don’t get anywhere until that goal is specific… or at least broken down into smaller targets. Otherwise its as hollow as any MP’s speech.

7. Laurie Penny

Sunny, Nina – ‘things I’d like to change’ needs a whole separate post, and is probably very boring to everyone, but here goes some of it:

– I’d like to see a national minimum standard wage instituted – a living wage, so that people can do a job of work and take care of themselves and their families at the same time.

– I’d like to see a nationwide first-class system of residential and semi-residential care for the mentally ill, with support teams and a decent benefits system in place to help people back into appropriate work.

– I’d like flexible and part-time working to be a valid option

– I’d like to fund all this by taxing the rich and imposing a 0.5% tax on financial transactions over a million.

My computer’s about to crash, so I’ll post the rest of my wishlist in five minutes’ time!

I understand Laurie’s sentiment entirely, and perhaps what we need now is more prescriptive or at the very least programmatic explanations of what “real change” would look like in this country.

We can start with projecting how a progressive Parliament would be constituted – which MPs or parties to support based on particular policies.

Alternatively we can look at what major problems exist and what laws or campaigns could address them. As a starting point, I suggest the following shortlist:

falling social mobility
child poverty
affordable housing
climate change
public transport

9. Laurie Penny

Okay, carrying on with my social shopping-list:

I’d like a school curriculum which taught kids properly about sex, relationships, financial matters and their political inheritance.

I’d like the money we currently plough into the military and into military development to be ploughed instead into making Britain a world-leader in scientific research. I’d like all that money to go towards advancing medical technology and towards finding sustainable energy alternatives.

I’d like every citizen to have access to a cheap internet connection and to be able to engage with democracy online

I’d like businesses to be obliged to take on trainees in a much more thorough apprenticeship system similar to the US internship program – trainees would be paid a small retainer, supplemented by a small government wage – enough to live on whilst they gain skills and qualifications.

I’d like a world in which women have full and free reproductive choice.

And I’d like to create a new rhetoric of pride in our nation – patriotism/matriotism rather than nationalism, a pride that encompasses multiculturalism and does not deny the mistakes and evils of history. I’d like that pride to be linked to our place in Europe, and I’d like us to feel more secure being a nation among nations, rather than reaching tentatively back to a world-beating past that will never return and that we didn’t handle properly in the first place.

That enough for now?

10. Cath Elliott

Bloody hell Laurie, that’s a pretty conservative (small c) wish list for someone purporting to be an anarcho-socialist!

Personally I’d like to see the overthrow of global capitalism and patriarchal hegemony, and a complete redistribution of both wealth and power.

Or am I asking too much?

11. Laurie Penny

That’s my list of what I think is realistic and acheivable. I don’t think you’re asking too much – but I think a practical shopping list is the way to start if you genuinely want to acheive social change, wealth redistribution and equality.

No, I don’t think you’re asking too much. But how would you practically acheive it, without violent revolution? I want to see quantifiable socialist change happen within my lifetime and without bloodshed. That’s how I think it should happen. I could, of course, make another list as long as my arm, if you liked. But I think, as Sunny and Nina say, what we need is practical goals as well as a general longing for revolution.

If you have other concrete plans for the overthrow of global capitalism and patriarchal hegemony, I’d love to hear them. But I think, for example, that a change like a universal living wage is something that would – just for instance – decrease the numbers of women demeaning themselves in sex work and in low-paid service jobs, allow women freedom from the immediate control of the men in their lives. I have thought this through.

Good piece, although I’m slightly intrigued by the Lammy quote. Do you feel that Labour – New, Old or Slightly Worn In – could still be conducive to social change?

Incidentally, Joebama’s very interesting. Is Chris Matthews behind it?

“Or am I asking too much?”

What sort of timescale are we working with here?

13. James Schneider

Laurie,

Living Wage – unconvinced that it won’t hurt those right at the bottom. I would support a Citizens Basic income instead. Increases workers’ bargaining power, and allows them to make easier life choices, without distorting the market aggressively.

Mental illness – good desire, a crucial issue

Flexi-work – working hours that work around the employee, not the employer will never be the case unless the employee has more of a role in running the business. We should encourage cooperative business structures using corporation tax. The more of a business is owned by its workers, the less tax it should pay. This is the route to flexible working, increased altruism, and an end to inefficient hierarchical businesses.

Taxing the rich – at what level and how? We have to be one sensible and two radical about this. Firstly, we should be trying to tax land and capital much more than work. Secondly, we do not wish the rich to just pack their bags and leave. So we have to strike a balance. Taxing work (income) is not the best solution. Land value tax and some targetted property taxes would be far superior, and increase, not decrease economic efficiency. On the speculative tax (often termed a Tobin tax), I see the logic but think the level will probably be lower. This proceeds of this tax should go into a fund managed by the banks themselves, so that they can bail themselves out in future using that money. It will be their decision, not a political one, and they can stand by their successes or failures, like everyone else.

School curriculum – sex and relationships, fine. Financial matters, key. We must be teaching kids “life maths”. Maths through the medium of heating bills, savings accounts, online security, and mortgages etc. Kids must be equipped to handle the modern world, that means a modicum of knowledge about financial systems: interest rates, exchange rates etc. So absolutely crucial. As for political inheritance, what do you mean? It sounds like that could easily become politicized. I do not want kids political views being knowingly shaped by the state.

Military spending – could be lowered if we found greater cooperation with Europe and took on board some economies of scale. Our defence spending is not huge and their are not massive efficiency gains to be made from simple cuts. As for plowing cash into scientific research, how is the state going to pick winners, who’ll manage the fund, and will it cause any crowding out? These are the salient questions.

Internet and e-democracy – I think e-democracy will gradually develop and will be very exciting indeed. We should not force it, but wait patently for its development. As for cheap internet connection, as you going to mandate this? The market is already doing a pretty good job of extending fast cheap internet to all. Or are you suggesting a Seoul style wifi in our major cities?

Interships – don’t know enough about this, to be honest. Looks interesting.

Reproductive choice – yes, but there will be limits which can be debated. Clearly an abortion at 8 months in unacceptable. The limit will lie somewhere, but the principle is good.

refashioned ersatz Patriotism – no thanks. sounds like a load of arse. sorry.

I like the idea of refashioned patriotism. That’s my project :)

15. James Schneider

Sunny,
Refashioned out of what and into what. Why do we need a new nationalism?

16. Laurie Penny

nationalism and patriotism are achingly different things.

Hi Laurie,

Excellent article as ever. But I do think you’re looking in the wrong places if you are looking for experience and skills about how to bring about change. Working for a central London thinktank, liberal newspaper or as an MP’s “researcher” are all enjoyable jobs for people who are interested in politics – but they are also leftie-liberal comfort zones, with the disadvantages that you’ve noted.

Instead, I’d suggest looking at things like being an MP’s caseworker, working for a grassroots (local rather than national focused) charity, trade union lawyer, local councillor, or one of the other jobs that is really interesting politically, but which isn’t part of the Westminster bubble and which involves helping people on a day-to-day basis.

18. Laurie Penny

Ah – I’m actually doing some specific casework at the moment, although my job hasn’t got an official title. It’s not super-secret-special-OMG, but work would prefer that I didn’t talk about it online, so I can’t really go into more detail than that…I’ve only had the first week so far, but it looks to be really interesting stuff.

Thanks for the advice – I know you’re right on many levels. Question is, is there any way I can carry on doing this stuff whilst earning money and living in London? I’m still in love with the city and could not bear to leave…

Sunny: we should talk more about reimagining patriotism. Yes, we should. For I have some ideas and I’d like to hear yours.

The question about “can carry on doing this stuff whilst earning money and living in London?” is definitely a good one – there’s not as many of these sorts of jobs (and, of course, they are scattered about all over the country). Worth having a look on Guardian Society, of course. Community Links have volunteering opportunities with their Advice team but no paid jobs at the moment, they’re a good example of the kind of organisation which does grassroots work alongside the more think-tanky stuff.

Happy to have a look and pass on any suggestions :)

Why not synthesize your re-imagined matriotism into suggestion for the lyrics for a new National anthem . I say National anthem of course I mean inclusive menu of alternative singing ideas . I have made a start

‘God’
State preferred deity omitting gender specific references or state no god or indeed weak deism as preferred etc.

‘save’

Save has an unfortunate inference a weaker sex that requires saving . Recommend replaced with” Work in a team with “…

‘our ‘

Our is no good excluding as it does those who have complex identities .Recommend replace with ….”a “ and any admired person for example Kylie Mingoue fro recently arrived antipodeans

‘gracious ‘

No no no … this desexualising compounding of the parochial hegemony is virtually an unadorned phallus ,. Suggest “Nice” for safety

‘Queen,’

I think not The implied hierarchy is virtually a reintroduction of slavery .Suggest replace with vestigial tribal figurehead tolerated temporarily whilst remnant of accrued ignorance are surgically removed .

‘Send her victorious,’

Pleeeeze “ enable her / Minogue /other / to be cooperative perhaps ?

‘Happy and glorious’

Glorious is of course militarist and triumph list and should be replaced with “ Guilty . Craven and apologetic but self abasing enough to be tolerate by other better people/places “

Hey this is really shaping up , alright if I hang myself now ?

“nationalism and patriotism are achingly different things.”

it’s all gism, whoever the donor is.

I wish you’d stop intellectualising and get down to brass tacks. You’ll be much less frustrated afterwards.

The West Wing was wonderful drama but one that did exist in a bubble where economics was just a myth told to scare liberals. I think the first ever episode had a funny line in it about economists being invented to make astrologers look better. Funny, but just not true. Incidentally, a viewers poll put moderate libertarian leaning Republican Vinnick (Alan Alda) ahead of Santos after the live debate episode: http://www.cato-at-liberty.org/2008/05/27/a-west-wing-rerun/ – which makes you wonder how different real history could have been if Obama had been put up against a more principled opposition.

I agree with the a lot of themes on this thread. The revolution will be local. Progressive elements of all parties are starting to become genuine decentralists, at least in theory. If the theory can be turned to reality, I think we could see some good things emerging in terms of greater liberty and welfare.

“Why not synthesize your re-imagined matriotism into suggestion for the lyrics for a new National anthem .”

Ach no, Newmania, we’re just going to give a lusty rendition of The Internationale as we storm the British equivalent of the Winter Palace (whatever that might be).

Ben

could have been if Obama had been put up against a more principled opposition.

Like who? Mitt Romney? Rudy Giuliani? Heh. Face it, the Republican party is populated by scum.

How about Fred Thompson? Kicked out in the early stages.

Of course, in the West Wing, the Iraq war hadn’t happened and the Republicans weren’t the incumbent, and the fictional Vinnick had no Bush doctrine to either support or reject. The only Republican candidate to outright reject Bush’s foreign policy was Ron Paul.

How about Fred Thompson? Kicked out in the early stages.

The impression I had was that Thompson barely bothered campaigning. Besides, wouldn’t the whole thing have turned into The West Wing v Law and Order?

27. Col. Richard Hindrance (Mrs)

Newmania, you might even skate close to being mildly amusing one day if you ever jettison the wearisome clichés about “political correctness” circa 1983.

Actually scratch that. You will forever be a tiresome unfunny old bore with far less to say than he thinks he has.

Laurie may be a “young person” (horrors!) but intellectually and journalistically she runs rings around you.

Pathetic.

“The impression I had was that Thompson barely bothered campaigning.”

Never better evidence that he was genuinely libertarian leaning! Only people who really really really want to make it their life’s work to screw everyone else from a position of power ever get the chance to do so in a representative democracy. Those that are just partial to a bit of power mania, and only during office hours, are just not taken seriously.

Nick: Never better evidence that he was genuinely libertarian leaning! Only people who really really really want to make it their life’s work to screw everyone else from a position of power ever get the chance to do so in a representative democracy. Those that are just partial to a bit of power mania, and only during office hours, are just not taken seriously.

…or he simply couldn’t be arsed to do a proper job: let’s face it, the competition wasn’t exactly scintillating.

But what exactly does doing a proper job mean as president in today’s state obsessed discourse? Invading a decent number of countries? Issuing enough edicts? Seizing enough property for political ends?

What does campaigning properly to be president mean? Shaking enough hands while promising to screw over a minority of the population so that you can get the majority to support you? Honestly, give me someone who can’t be arsed over someone who can be any day! Of course, they never stand a chance but thats the whole point.

The British equivalent of the Winter Palace – same as the British equivalent of the Summer Palace.

I’m really not sure demonising the enemy does anyone any good whatsoever.

Sunny – unless I missed it you’ve kept rather quiet about this – you are currently the hottest post on comment is free!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/nov/30/obama-white-house-barackobama

I `m here all week !

Nick – c’mon, the guy was not only putting others to sleep, he was falling asleep himself while campaigning! How that demonstrates libertarian leaning is quite funny. Given that he was a traditional social conservative who was anti-choice, calling him libertarian is stretching the facts a bit.

Ron Paul was better – but his loss only demonstrates that your beloved Republican party is far away from its traditional libertarian roots. In fact, the social conservatives and foreign policy hawks (who want a big, powerful state) now overwhelm that coalition.

Sunny – your blog is the hottest by far on CiF btw!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/nov/30/obama-white-house-barackobama

Indeed, and I am not a Republican. I was just pointing out that they weren’t all, as you intimated, ‘scum’.

37. James Schneider

Well said Nick. Its absurd to say all Republicans are scum. Was Bloomberg scum? What about Arnie? Is McCain scum?

You’ve got a good case against Guiliani but even Romney’s record as governor of Massachusetts is pretty good. The problem is, he just didn’t run on his record.


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