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New Boris tactic: slapping ministers with his penis

by Sunny Hundal     February 26, 2010 at 4:38 pm

The new edition of the New Statesman has this cringingly bad attempt by London’s occasional Mayor Boris Johnson to sound hip and cool:

There are some parts of the economy that have proved astonishingly resilient, and I am completely confident that things will pick up strongly by the back end of this year. We are one of the only European cities to have a young and growing population.

We are going through a neo-Victorian age of transport investment – the Tube upgrades, the Thames Tideway tunnel – and my job as mayor is to keep blapping ministers between the eyes until they understand that it would be utter madness to cut infrastructure projects that will increase com petitiveness. So the plan is simple: lengthen London’s lead as the best big city on earth.

Keep ‘blapping’ ministers between the eyes? Whatever could he mean?

Thankfully the Urban Dictionary provides the answer:

Blap : The act of slapping someone across the face with your penis. They then become your property

Tom at Boriswatch adds:

‘neo-Victorian’ is pushing it – the Tube was mostly Edwardian, extended by Keynesian counter-recessionary spending in the 30s, while the Tideway Tunnel is a giant sewer, as we pointed out when he mistakenly included it in his list of transport projects at State of London last year.

Yeah but who cares about these details?

If Boris could actually get some work done, who are we to complain if he is taking his member out and slapping other ministers across the face with it.

Kit Malthouse better stay on message.
[via @SianBerry]

Nadine’s not a feminist, but….

by Cath Elliott     February 26, 2010 at 3:31 pm

I found myself in the unenviable position this week of actually agreeing with Nadine Dorries about something. But don’t worry, it was a short lived affair.

Now despite the fact that I appear to be one of the few lefties she hasn’t yet blocked on Twitter, I’m not renowned for holding Dorries in any high esteem (see here for example), so you can imagine my surprise when she tweeted this:

…and I found myself nodding along.

Yes she’s right, the political new media is dominated by men – in fact it’s something I’ve been intending to write about for a while now.
continue reading… »

Tory campaigns against HoC bar turned to creche

by Sunny Hundal     February 26, 2010 at 2:53 pm

A Conservative MP is trying to stop changes at the Houses of Parliament that would make it easier for MPs to bring their children, and create a more family-friendly atmosphere.

The House of Commons, in spite of trying to be more inclusive, has no creche or facilitie. It does however diligently provide said ladies a place to hang their sword as soon as they are returned as Member of a constituency.

The MP, Christopher Chope, was earlier behind attempts to water down the Minimum Wage.

Today he sent around the email below. LibCon has managed to get a copy:

From: CHOPE, Christopher
Sent: 26 February 2010 09:57
Subject: Bellamy’s Bar

As you will know, the House of Commons Commission has decided to close Bellamy’s Bar, The Astor Suite and Bellamy’s Club Room in order to convert them into a nursery/crèche. The bar was recently refurbished at a cost of £480,000 and the cost of the conversion to the nursery will be in excess of £500,000.

Neither the fire service nor the Administration Committee where consulted as to the sighting of the crèche before the House of Commons Commission made its decision.

On Monday night, I am presenting a Petition to the House of Commons objecting to this work given that Bellamy’s Bar is the only one available, without membership, for staff on the House of Commons Estate and that other locations are available now.

If you would like to add your name to this Petition, would you please email me back to say ‘Yes’.

With best wishes.

Yours sincerely,
Christopher Chope MP

The change is being led by Speaker John Bercow. Wonder if that has anything to do with it.

Did you know Gordon Brown’s got bad breath too?

by Claude Carpentieri     February 26, 2010 at 11:30 am

Following previous rows about the Prime Minister’s favourite biscuits, as well as speculation over his use of anti-depressants, the state of his eye sight and his chewed fingernails, Gordon Brown has now been accused of using his breath to intimidate staff.

It all started when senior Observer columnist Andrew Rawnsley, anxious to plug his new book The End of The Party, quoted a number of staff at No.10 Downing Street accusing the Prime Minister of making their life a misery with his pongy mouth.

This ignited a political battle over whether Gordon Brown suffers from halitosis or whether this is simply a Tory conspiracy aimed at discrediting the Prime Minister as recent opinion polls indicate Labour is making up some lost ground.

According to one of Rawnsley’s sources: “the air in our Downing Street office is really unpleasant. Each time the PM opens his gob we recoil in horror. It’s like being hit in the face by a rotten onion”. “Needless to say”, the source adds, “the whole thing’s ruining our lives. We dread coming into work”.
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Report: More Brits come back after emigrating

by Newswire     February 26, 2010 at 11:30 am

New figures released today by the Office for National Statistics suggest that the world-wide economic crisis has had a significant impact on migration flows to and from the UK, according to the think tank, the Institute for Public Policy Research.

Net immigration to the UK in the year to June 2009 was:
* 147,000 – down from 168,000 in the year to June 2008 (and a peak of 245,000 in 2004).
* Net immigration from the new EU member states was down to 10,000 (from a peak of almost 90,000 in 2007).

But the modest decline in net flows between 2008 and 2009 disguises some more striking changes in overall patterns of migration.
* In the year to June 2009 146,000 British nationals emigrated from the UK, and 87,000 came back to the UK.
* This meant that net emigration by British nationals was 59,000, down from 89,000 in the year to June 2008 (and a peak of well over 100,000 in 2004), due to both decreased emigration and increased return.
* In the same time period, net immigration by non-British nationals was 206,000, down from 257,000 in the year to June 2008 (and a peak of over 350,000 in 2004).

Tim Finch, Head of Migration at ippr, said:

In all the heated debate around this issue, the importance of British migration is often neglected. The number of Brits going to live abroad or coming back to this country is a key component of overall flows. The recession seems to have significantly reduced emigration by British people, as well as reducing the numbers of non-British nationals coming to the UK. This is a reminder that migration is always a two-way street.

New research soon to be published by ippr shows that there are an estimated 5.4 British nationals living overseas – but the emigration boom among Brits seems to have slowed, at the same time that immigration to this country is slowing. When times are tough, people seem to be less likely to move, or if they do, it’s more often to go home.

All figures taken from ONS Migration Statistics Quarterly Report, February 2010 and ONS Long-Term International Migration time series.

The estimate of Britons living overseas is taken from a forthcoming ippr report titled Making the Most of the British Diaspora which will be published in June 2010.
From a press release

Belgians hit back at Nigel Farage

by Sunny Hundal     February 26, 2010 at 8:45 am

UKIP MEP Nigel Farage thought he needed to drum up some publicity to win John Bercow’s seat and prop up his sagging campaign. So he made a speech.

In response the Belgians offered a stern response:

His comments provoked a letter of complaint from Belgium’s Prime Minister, Yves Leterme, to the president of the European Parliament, Jerzy Buzek.

“As a Belgian politician, I must react against this damaging intervention… and the impolite comments about Belgium,” Mr Leterme protested. He called on Mr Buzek to end “these kinds of incidents” in a bid to protect “the interests of my citizens, which cannot be underestimated”.

Belgian citizens on the other thought a more direct and fitting response was needed:

Who would have thought the Belgians could be so rude?

But then, who are we to complain?

Support the right for religious groups to hold civil partnerships!

by Sunder Katwala     February 26, 2010 at 8:45 am

The House of Lords is to consider an amendment to the Equality Bill on March 2nd next week, which would make it legal for civil partnerships to be registered on the premises of those religious associations who wish to do so.

Tuesday’s Times carried a letter in support of the reform, which saw current and former senior Anglican Bishops joining other voices who represent faith traditions which want to be able to register and celebrate civil partnerships. These included liberal Judaism, Quakers and Unitarians who believe the measure is required to uphold their own religious freedom and individual rights.

The Times also reported that “the government has yet to decide whether to back the amendment. It wants to avoid another confrontation with church leaders.”

However, the Bishop of Leicester, who convenes the 26 bishops in the House of Lords, is publicly supporting the amendment. The case that opponents of the amendment entirely contradict themselves on the principle of freedom of belief has been made powerfully by Iain McLean in an open letter to the Bishop of Winchester and by Stuart White.

I have sent this letter to Harriet Harman, as Minister for Equality, to urge that the government support the amendment.
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The Tories want more class war

by Dave Osler     February 25, 2010 at 4:53 pm

What sort of newspaper runs with headlines such as ‘We must arm ourselves for a class war’?

I mean, not even publications of the kind that get flogged outside Dalston Kingsland shopping centre of a Saturday routinely urge the comrades to break out the Kalashnikovs. That sort of juvenile ultraleftism is just embarrassing.

If you were just about to say Socialist Worker in response to my opening question, you may be surprised to learn that the correct answer is the Daily Telegraph this morning. No kid.

In fairness to economics editor Edmund Conway, I suspect the subs were getting a little carried away.

The piece at no point actively incites the bourgeoisie to stockpile automatic weaponry in anticipation of the need to gun down hordes of Jobseekers’ Allowance claimants on the rampage through the leafier parts of Richmond upon Thames.

But the article does offer an insight into what sections of the right are thinking right now.
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20% of Tory PPCs want to bring back hanging

by Sunny Hundal     February 25, 2010 at 1:57 pm

Twenty per cent of likely Tory PPCs seek the return of the death penalty.

That was the finding of a New Statesman / ComRes poll out today of the incoming batch of Tory PPCs.

Andrew Hawkins, chairman of ComRes, said:

Conservative candidates are a combination of traditional Tory values and modern Cameroon Conservatism. The old tribal loyalties are there all right – witness the primacy of Gordon Brown and Tony Blair over Hitler and Stalin as political villains [in our poll].

Three-quarters of Conservative prospective parliamentary candidates also want to renegotiate the UK’s relationship with the EU as a matter of priority.

The poll also found that six in ten want the Tories’ inheritance-tax cut (which gifts £1.2bn to the top 2 per cent of wealthiest estates) raised immediately.

The poll of 101 Tory hopefuls shows that nine in ten want to tackle the Budget deficit with cuts in public spending rather than increases in taxation.

More at the Staggers blog

Desperate Tories go for immigration ‘dog-whistle’

by Sunny Hundal     February 25, 2010 at 1:17 pm

Anthony Painter said this on Twitter in the morning:

Spectator reports Tory campaign off the rails. Then a couple of hours later we get the dog whistle. http://bit.ly/9hAltY

And he’s spot on. The morning’s Spectator magazine front-cover article won’t make comfortable reading for the Tories:

The Tory situation is now verging on critical

Why has the Tory lead halved since December? James Forsyth says that Cameron and his four top men — Osborne, Hilton, Coulson and Bridges — must take the blame for the party’s dismal performance and its lack of message and purpose.

But they had to regain the agenda somehow, so Damian Green was dispatched:

Mr Green said immigration is “out of control”, despite today’s figures showing there has been a 30% drop in asylum seekers entering the UK in the second quarter.
…
Mr Green said the amount of people from Eastern Europe claiming benefits in Britain had doubled. He added: “It’s really worrying that despite high unemployment we still seem to be getting in foreign workers.”

The typical Tory dog-whistle has come out again.

Not only has the number of immigrants and asylum seekers fallen massively over the last few years, Conservative party policy is highly disingenuous on the issue.

The Tories do not and can not, unless they pull out of the EU entirely, restrict Europeans from coming into the UK to work. So how will they change things? By limiting the relatively insignificant number of non-EU people coming into the UK? Most of them aren’t even workers.

No doubt Chris Grayling will be trotted out next to say how much crime has risen under Labour.

More
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