“You Can Call Me Al”. >> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uq-gYOrU8bA

And this little number was one of Edward II’s favourites

Woman: Do you know you’ve seriously misled the people over the numbers of serving police officers in London boroughs?

Boris: No, but you hum it and I’ll play it.

This one’s for Darry, it’s called “Careless Whisper”.

No I’m contract busking at the moment for the offshore company wholly owned by my off shore family trust so there is no tax to pay.

Unless it pays out to me in the UK. But that would be be stupid.

But you can not prove that and me not prove otherwise because my family has been writing the rules on financial secrecy and generational tax avoidance for generations.

Now I think what the audience is really interested in what happened to the Grand Old Duke of York. Well let me tell you. OHHHHHH THEEE …

Style over substance every time with Boris.

“Altogether now. One, two….er what comes next?”

“I’m just as good at running London as I am at playing this accordion”

Boris tries to steal Cameron’s next job

This is how I expect you lot to earn your money, I’ll be getting my end away in the office. If you’re any good I’ll give you 10p when I’ve finished my shag.

Right who is pressing play

Cameron, camron… cameron, camron… cameron, camron, camron

Do you wanna be in my gang, my gang, my gang?
Do you wanna be in my gang, oh yeah?……

I’m the leader, I’m the leader, I’m the leader of the gang, I am
I’m the leader, I’m the leader, well, there’s no one like the man I am

Cameron, camron… cameron, camron… cameron, camron, camron

A Fiver in the hat? Chickenfeed!

“I’m da Capo in dis town”

..wind forward to 80 seconds, and you’ll see what I mean

And I thought John Redwood’s rendition of the Welsh National Anthem looked a bit awkward.

Lah de dah … I dont know the words to this one but I can sandpaper them in later