Recent Articles

Labour spends (nearly) 25.2 TRILLION on quangos!

The cost of taxpayer funded quangos – the shadowy, oddly named things that you don’t really understand but we use to scare you – has hit an incredible £170 billion, or 25.2 TRILLION yen.

An analysis that involved picking numbers from a hat, discarding the small ones, adding the big ones together, then multiplying the answer by the speed of light in a vacuum (C), has revealed they are swallowing up, let’s say, 160 times more money than a certain amount of time ago, or something roughly approximate to that anyway.

In 1997/8, quangos cost a very reasonable £24.1bn, but thanks to Labour cronies given free reign to set up millions more since then, their number and spending have sky rocketed. A guess by our work experience boy puts the number of quangos at 994, while the tea lady says the number of staff employed by them has jumped from 1m a decade ago, to 1.5m today.

The spending on quangos is almost five times the Ministry of Defence’s £35.4billion budget, and billions of times more than my wife spends on the weekly shop.
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Only immigrants, sterilisation & euthanasia can save Britain

Now I haven’t actually looked at the statistics, but one thing is clear from the latest Government migration report – Britain is close to bursting point, and it’s only a matter of time before our little island sinks into the North Sea, groaning under the weight of its own populace.

Even the Marxists at the BBC are reporting ‘the biggest population increase for almost 50 years‘, along with the terrifying news that the population has finally balooned past the 61m milestone. The evidence of an impending catastrophe can no longer be ignored: only yesterday I had to queue up in Waitrose behind 3 other people, adding another 5 minutes to my already nauseating weekly shop.

Then, as I was driving home at 6 o’clock, I had to spend nearly half an hour sitting in traffic – caused, no doubt, by hundreds of people all traveling to see their hundreds of children. Make no mistake – there are simply too many people in Britain now.

Normally, it’s perfectly easy for poorly informed commentators like myself to come up with a solution: throw out the immigrants and get rid of the benefit culture that brings them here in the first place. Hundreds of tabloid columnist have suggested this simple scheme ad nauseum over the years, but it’s always fallen on deaf ears.
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New migration figures butchered by Daily Mail

Journalism and statistics go together like Dog the Bounty Hunter on a dinner date with Tolstoy.

Usually, tabloid statistics come from some press release sent out by a company with a vested interest, from a “report” by the TaxPayers’ Alliance, or from an NGO, quango, or think-tank.

Sometimes, though, an ambitious journalist will tire of rewriting pre-compiled reports and studies and decide to go and look at the statistics for themselves. This is a risky thing to do because the journo is well aware of their lack of training in stats and the potential for time-consuming redrafts if they make a mistake.

Such is the case with Sue Reid’s “SPECIAL INVESTIGATION” on migrant workers and unemployment in yesterday’s Mail, headlined “Revealed: The areas where there are more migrants chasing jobs than locals“. Sue seems quite proud of her data-mining, as there’s a little photo of her looking pleased with herself next to the words “SPECIAL INVESTIGATION”.
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Daniel Hannan is a national disgrace

Only the most cold-hearted of cynics could expess disdain for the many extraordinary achievments made in Britain throughout history. Those who have struggled for freedom and justice have shaped a country safe and civilised, without fear of oppression, tyranny, death or disease in which nearly everyone is represented and enfranchised.

The human right to good health and protection from, and provision for, injury and sickness, are all enshrined in the National Health Service. It is an entity admired the world over, and one that many now could not imagine living without.

(image by Beau Bo D’Or)

So to see a British politician roaming the USA, frequenting the most biased, unreasonable and willfully ignorant news outlets in existence, spouting misinformed drivel to screeching hate puffed lummoxes like Glenn Beck about the imaginary horrors of ‘socialized’ health care is almost obscene.

Watching Daniel Hannan speaking as a supposed representative for Britain on Fox News, bleating about how our country has been rendered feral and crippled by the NHS is enough to raise a sudden, unexpected swell of patriotism normally reserved for the success of a British icon on the global stage or spectacular sporting defeats.
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Harriet Harman’s ‘feminist blitzkrieg’

Abusive husbands were left furious today after a “controversial” new drive to reduce domestic violence against troublesome women was unveiled by chief feminazi Harriet Harman.

Under the contentious scheme, children as young as five will be taught that time-honoured traditions of men beating their wives when they take too long doing the dishes or refuse sex because they ‘have a headache’, are no longer acceptable in today’s politically correct, ultra-feminised society.

Shockingly, boys will be indoctrinated that their female friends are ‘people’ with “human rights” too, and just because girls are weak and over-sensitive doesn’t mean it’s acceptable to punish them for disobedience.

But imaginary critics warned that ministers are cramming the already over-stuffed National Curriculum with silly lessons that should be taught in the home, and schools should teach proper subjects like maths and fox-hunting instead of focusing on the supposed rights of nagging women.
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Richard Desmond happy with High Court win

Richard Desmond, philanthropist, pornographer, adherent of Godwin’s Law, and Great Architect of The Daily Express was jubilant last night after spending a jolly few weeks socking it to silly biographers in the High Court.

Desmond, once described as ‘an appalling man’ by Britain’s most appalling man, told his own newspaper: “It was worth it to stand up in court and set the record straight”, apparently unaware that he’d actually lost the case.
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Daily Mail wants Nigerian criminals to remain in Britain

In a surprising U-turn, The Daily Mail said yesterday that instead of being sent back where they came from, Nigerian criminals should remain in Britain to take your job and rob your house.

Confusion erupted as the newspaper more commonly associated with its pro- ‘put-them-all-on-the-first-banana-boat-back-to-Africa’ stance on immigration also decided it would rather spend more taxpayers’ money keeping brown nogoodniks here than save cash by helping to build a dedicated facility in some far-off African land where they could be pleasantly forgotten about.
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Fairer access to policing at protests promised

Protestors are to be given the chance to ‘opt in’ to kettling at demonstrations, after an ACPO report on policing at the G20 demonstrations recommended forewarning that the controversial containment tactic would be employed.

Senior police strategists are anticipating a positive response to the scheme, whereby demonstrators will be given the chance to stand in a confined space for several hours without access to food, water or toilet facilities, while Territorial Support Group officers hit them in the face with batons – or if they’re lucky, shields.
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The tyranny of the gay agenda

Iain Duncan Smith and his band of super Tories at the Centre for Social Justice are to issue a report which will shape Conservative policy on the family. It is widely expected to put the God-given sanctity of marriage at the heart of family life, make divorce more difficult and promote marriage preparation classes and ‘family relationship centres’, as well as tax breaks for married couples.

Hooray!

The report comes not a minute too late, following countless years of social engineering designed by Labour to do nothing but obliterate traditional familial values of a mother, father and two children sitting round a stone fireplace telling ripping tales of Grandad’s adventures in the Great War.
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So what’s this ‘blogosphere’ thing anyway?

Readers from the real world may have been perplexed by the attention given to the so-called ‘blogosphere’ this past weekend, and left wondering why they should care about it. The short answer is they shouldn’t.

The British blogosphere is comprised entirely of frustrated writers bitter about their inability to land jobs at real newspapers, sitting in their mother’s basement, stabbing endlessly away at their computer keyboards in the middle of the night writing cretinous, infantile forums of abuse dressed up as argument in the hope that people will read their inconsequential, misinformed diatribe.
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